reflecting back... looking forward

one year ago james and i sat at dinner and dreamed about what 2010 would have in store for us. We had an incredibly difficult 2009 and just knew it had to get better... honestly we just prayed it didn't get much worse. we dreamed of being in full-time ministry, me being a stay at home mommy, and being able to have financial freedom, among other things. We were drained yet not defeated. We know God has directed each and everyone of our steps and had brought us to where we were for a reason. While it was a time of hardship in the Doezie household, it was also a time of immense growth for us. our year rolled on with really no prospects of our "dreams" coming true. We took each day as it came and clung to promises of provision and direction from the Lord. Needless to say our expectations were met beyond anything we ever thought or imagined. To give a quick recap here was our year:

2010: I quit working full time and took two months off before I started working perdiem at Kaiser. James was offered a full-time worship leading job at New Community Church. james quit Yardhouse. We left our friends and mentors at Rancho Community Church. We moved to vista. I got the chance to decorate a house for the first time. eli got a backyard to play in for the first time. we made incredible friendships. went to indian wells for a pastor retreat. james finished his bachelors program. started leading and hosting a community group. not only did we gain friends, we have gained a second family.

I cannot begin to express the amount of gratitude James and I have about where we are right now. We are so undeserving yet the Lord has blessed us with the honor and responsibility of being part of this amazing pastoral staff.

Before I list my 2011 Resolutions I wanted to post my resolutions that I made this past year (posted on my old blog found here) and see how I did with them.

1.) love more: i want to serve regularly and be more connected to those  in need. this also carries over to more patience for my patients, seeing as they are the least, last, and the lost when they visit me in the ER.

**obviously this is one of those resolutions that is hard to measure and never really met to its fullest. everyday i try to share the love i have experienced from the Creator himself. there are many days i fail. each day is new i suppose**
2.) be a better wife: dont even know where to start with this one. I love my husband so much yet so many times i greet him with my scowly face or give him the eye roll of death the moment he says something that doesn't meet me standard. I want him to come home to the wife he married. the one who had dinner ready for him... and clipped coupons... and always looked nice... and always had some lovin' for him...

**Man, this is one I have been SOSOSO convicted about. I have definitely put my relationship with james on the backburner. my marriage truly is my top priority, yet i do little to show that. my goal for 2011 is to be better "lover" to my hubby. not only in the obvious way (get your minds out of the gutter) but in just everyday, mundane activities that we share. May it be a joy for my husband to come home to us. may he always always know how much I respect, adore, and love him. I am so thankful for that man of mine**
3.) put more effort into buggy: i feel like i use the excuse "he doesn't understand yet" to justify my lack of parenting with my sweets. and while he may not be the brightest buld in the box there yet, i can sure be implementing in him the traits i know the Lord would want me to instill in him.

**Geez did I pick some vague resolutions last year or what. this is one resolution that I actually feel some improvement in. only working one day a week has helped so much with this. I finally feel like I have the energy to keep up with him. it is amazing how much he is learning every day and what a joy he is to our entire family. i sure do love you my bug**
4.) be more proactive/ procastinate less: not off to the world's greatest start considering it is 3:00pm and my son is still in his jammies, teeth and hair not brushed, and he smells like an easter egg on labor day...  

**New Years resolution post on January 2nd?? Enough said...**

5.) really get to know my camera: i want some flippin sweet shots man

**I love my camera so much, however I feel like I am limited by me lens. Can't wait to get me a sweet new lens...**
6.) learn to sew: any takers??i have so many ideas and drool over all the different blogs i read I need to get down and dirty and just make something already

**Nope**
7.) go on a REAL vacation: just me and the hubs.get on a jet plane. with luggage (my beautiful louis vuitton luggage that i only used in post-partum at the hospital). someplace exotic. one day. 

**Nope :-( I wish!! We did spend a night in San Diego for our anniversary which was at least a step in the right direction. We have a couple things planned this year. And good new is at least i use my LV luggage every week when I spend the night at my mom's before work, baby steps people!!**
8.) learn more spanish: 85% of my patients speak spanish. enough said.

**Alright maybe reflecting wasn't a great idea, i am starting to feel like a failure**
9.) be a better nurse: there is so much i have to learn. I never want to grow stagnant in my learning. I want to push myself for new experiences.

**This is definitely a goal i work on every single day. I have learned so much this past year. Everyday I learn something huge. I love the human body. I love helping people. I love being a nurse. I really love where I work too which helps a lot**
10.) get preggo: woop woop! {considering posts 3&4 i'll be surprised if the hubbs will agree with this goal}

**This will actually be a topic I post separately about. Obviously I think you can all assume that I didn't accomplish this goal. Let me tell you it was not from lack of trying.. can i get an Amen?? For whatever reason it just wasn't in the plan for us this year. Even though it was not what I had planned & it is not what I have chosen, but it is the hand we have been dealt. God is in control, he is sovereign. As our Pastor said a few weeks ago if I can trust my soul and salvation to Jesus than I sure as heck should be able to trust "my" plans to Him. In the end I am so thankful for the extra alone time I have had with Eli and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can also see a million reasons why it is good that I didn't get pregnant. We have also had time to re-evaluate our ultimate family goals and have made the decision to have less children than originally thought. Who knows maybe eli will be an only child ;-)**

seeing as I was pretty much a miserable failure with this past year's resolutions I really have no business posting new ones but 'tis the season so i shall anyways.

Here they are... my goals for the year 2011.

1.)  Be debt-free: this year brought several unexpected expenses as well as several shopping sprees  necessary fiscal splurges, and along with it some nasty debt. I hate debt. it stresses me out and is really bad stewardship of our money. I am keeping daily track or our spending and putting together our budget

2.) Be more experiemental with my fashion: I have been really inspired by this blog. I love her fashion style and I also love that she wears the same thing more than once. fashion is truly a love of mine, hence resolutions #1. I would also love to start posting my daily outfits. (the ones that don't involve sweatpants that is) I have found so much inspiration from people that do it.

3.) Keep a food journal: my struggle with body image and food has been a constant struggle for me ever since i can remember (post about this coming soon as well) So i am very cautious to put "body" goals in. I just become too consumed with it. However I feel a food journal is a healthy way for me to see what i am putting in my mouth while maintaining some balance.

I think between those resolutions and the goals from last year that I still have to work on, I have my work cut out for me. So excited for 2011. Bring it on baby. 

What are your resolutions??