[1] fridays are meant forsleeping in, going to the park, picnics, eating out, naps, game nights with friends, movies, date night, and staying up late. {i love that james has fridays off}
[2] baby buns, skinny vanilla lattes, catching up on my shows, shopping, and decorating make me terribly happy.
[3] something that inspires me: on a design level pinterest and way too many blogs to count. on a "life" level any message by John Piper, good solid fellowship.
[4] if i had the day off today i would: (we do have the off but lets pretend we don't) (if i was kidless for the day) I would sleep in, take two classes at the gym, get my eyebrows waxed [keeping it real people], take a shower and get dolled up, go to ikea, and then go to sushi and the movies with my love. mmmm perfect
[5] If I had to put a label on my design style it would be:oh man this is really hard. probably "vintage, ecclectic, glam" are those not those most opposite styles ever? ha. It is hard for me to lock down a style for myself because I love so many different ones.
[6] Concerning politics, I would say I am AHHHHHH! Ok I am not sure where on the political spectrum i am. I know what I feel about certain issues but definitely don't feel a need to identify myself on either side. I know that God is sovereign and no matter who is in office or what laws are or aren't passed I know that He holds us all in His hand. Thats all I need to know :-)
[7] i'd like to go on a cruise to the bahamasso I couldrelax and go somewhere I've aways dreamed of
I have had a few people ask me about what is going on with our pursuit of adoption, fertility treatments, etc. My answer usually consists of a lot of "uhhhhhhhsss..." and "hmmmmmms..." with the possibility of a few shoulder shrugs. Not because I am trying to be coy but because that is what happens in my brain every time I think about the topic.
We have been in a really good place lately. A place of peace and contentment. Everyday we are reminded of the gift Eli is to us. How this stage in his life is one I am relishing in. So the decision has been made to wait. [some decision huh?] Wait on adoption. Wait on fertility treatments. A lot of our decision is based on the financial implications both decisions hold. We do realize there are less expensive ways on continuing on either journey. A few friends even suggested taking Clomid [a fertility drug] without being followed by a OB. [it is cheaper this way because you dont pay for office visits and if bought from another country the medicine is super cheap] I was actually about to press "buy" on the website my girlfriend was showing me when I realized that my fricken uterus would probably explode because I was pregnant with a hundred babies if I took the drug this way. For now we feel like the only thing God has placed in front of us is to be Still. To know that He is God. To cling to Him. To TRUST HIM! Somedays this "calling" is all I need. Other days I'm like really God? Really? But that is what I love about our God- He is steadfast. No matter how up and down my emotions are He is my solid rock.
I have never been good with broken promises. Ask my mom. When I was little she wouldn't even confirm a shopping trip or playdate with me because heaven forbid she had to cancel i would have a tizzy fit nervous breakdown. Words like "thats not fair" and "im running away" were usually on the tip of my tongue. I think that there have been times through this process of infertility where I felt like God broke a promise to me. I felt jipped, sad, angry, and out of control. Honestly I still feel those things sometimes. "thats not fair" and "im running away" can continue to be on my tongue sometimes yet here I am reminded once again of Lamentations 3:22-23
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness
So Lord, next time I say "that's not fair" please remind me that neither was sending your perfect and blameless Son to die for me: filthy and sinful made clean. Next time I say, "I'm running away" please beckon me back with your steadfast love.
Music is an avenue I have always used to cope with different things in my life: good or bad [blame my rockstar hubby]. Two songs have really stuck out to me lately the lyrics as well as a playlist are below.
Carry Me
Audrey Assad
Pain is a forest we all get lost in
Between the branches hope can be so hard to see
And in the darkness we've all got questions
We're all just trying to make sense out of suffering but
You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
Help me believe it
Fear is a current we all get caught in
And in its motion faith can be so hard to find
And we all falter 'cause we're all broken
We're all just trying to turn the shadows into light but
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And you say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, You'll carry me
And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide
You say I am blessed because of this
You get glory in the midst of this
And You're walking with me
And You say I am blessed because of this
So, I choose to believe
As I carry this cross, as I carry this cross
'Cause as I carry this cross, You'll carry me
You'll carry me, God
You'll carry me
And Your love is an ocean wide
Let the Waters Rise
Mikeschair
Don't know where to begin
Its like my world's caving in
And I try but I can't control my fear
Where do I go from here?
sometimes its so hard to pray
When You feel so far away
But I am willing to go
Where you want me to
God, I trust You
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
'Cuz You'll be next to me
You're in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You're never out of reach
God, You know where I've been
You were there with me then
You were faithful before
You'll be faithful again
I'm holding Your hand
There's a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will follow You
I will follow You
God Your love is enough
You will pull me through
I'm holding onto You
God Your love is enough
I will follow You
I will follow You
My hubby is my best friend. I wanted to take sometime each week to join this series. This week I will talk about what James and I like to do for fun...
[1] Watch redbox movies with a low-fat dessert and fall asleep on the couch.
[2] eat out.
[3] walk around malls.
[4] sit at barnes and noble reading and drinking coffee.
[5] take naps.
wow. we are super exciting. i know we have gotten a little crazy in our old age... when looking at our list of rousing adventures I reflected a little bit and vowed to myself that we will spice things up and have more adventures like we used to. What I realized though was that, while keeping it on the fly is important, it honestly doesn't matter what we do. We have so much fun together! I know thats cliche and overstated but it is so true. Who needs bungee jumping [or some other crazy adventure] when I could be having a conversation with the most interesting man i know? or be cuddling with the most loving husband a girl could ask for?
I will make some changes to make things a little more exciting... I will try to stay awake through the whole movie.
One of the MANY things I love about James' job is his schedule. He has every Friday off. Yes, it is as amazing as it sounds. We usually try and do a little something every Friday to get out of the house and spend some family time together. Today we decided to take the train (choo-choo for future reference) to the Oceanside Pier.
what is a family trip without breakfast at Panera for a Breakfast Sandwich.
Eli is obsessed with cars and choo-choos. It was really fun to watch him get so excited about the whole thing.
When we got to the beach we decided to do something different. We decided to rent one of these bikes. It was so much fun! Eli could have kept riding but he didn't like the helmet.
Nurse mama + little boy not wanting to wear his helmet = End of bike ride
It was such a beautiful day.
That was pretty much the end of our day. There was an extra long nap to be had by all. Now off to dye easter eggs.
1. My favorite daily responsibility is,Well the word "responsibility" doesn't exactly get my juices flowing, but I guess I DONT MIND Planning my grocery shopping list and light tidying. Even a little laundry if the mood is right.
2. My least favorite daily responsibility is, hmmmmm.... Where to start?? Probably dishes. Although I love the way the kitchen looks with an empty sink. Also I can't stand cleaning the floor. It seems never-ending.
3. My favorite cuisine to eat when going out isAgain as I said, Sushi. As in teriyaki bowls and shrimp tempura. You know the hard-core stuff.
4. My favorite cuisine to prepare at home is Does quick and easy count as a cuisine? hmmm. not great.
5. Andy Warhol said that everyone is famous for 15 minutes. My claim to fame is definitely being married to a rock star. Worship leader? Rock star? ;-)
6. If I could have 3 wishes I would wish Enough money to never have to worry about bills, the ability to always have the right thing to say (i have found my foot in my mouth way too many times), and to be fearless.
7. My biggest pet peeve is SOCKS! EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SOCKS... I can't go into explanation or i will end up angry and having dry heaves.
(this picture is old and has nothing to do with my post but MERCY is he not the cutest thing in the world??)
Hello! Here is my first "Fill-in-the-Blank" Friday segment. The lovely Liz has been doing this segment for a while so to kick off my first one I just picked a random set she did a while ago. So here we go :-)
1. I am feeling thankful and content. Sometimes that can be a rarity for me. An issue that I daily struggle with. I can truly say I am so happy...
2. The bravest thing I've ever done wasStart Nursing School and then work as a RN in the ER. I am still scared {hold me}
3. I feel prettiest whenI have had a good work out and have made an effort to eat healthy. (rarer and rarer these days)
4. Something that keeps me awake at night is Sometimes it is trivial things like "what am I going to wear tomorrow" or "I need to make sure I do this or that" other times it is more impactful things like "I hope I am being a good mom and wife" or "How will we afford x,y and z".
5. My favorite meal in the entire world is My husband will be shocked that I am actually saying this and I can hear the "I told you so's now" but Sushi. Not real sushi though. Things like crunchy shrimp rolls and shrimp tempura. You know the lame-man's sushi.
6. The way to my heart is Lots of money. Just kidding. Although it would not hurt. I would say probably quality time and offering to do the dishes :-)
7. I would like to give my baby a sibling, take up running (yea right, just calling myself out now), stick to the budget James and I are implementing (Day 7 and so far so good).
And a shout out to the Lovely Molly who will be doing some additional design work for Heather which is so super exciting because she is so talented. She is the art-eest behind my little corner of internet heaven. You should definitely check her out if you are in the market for a blog overhaul.
