We have been in a really good place lately. A place of peace and contentment. Everyday we are reminded of the gift Eli is to us. How this stage in his life is one I am relishing in. So the decision has been made to wait. [some decision huh?] Wait on adoption. Wait on fertility treatments. A lot of our decision is based on the financial implications both decisions hold. We do realize there are less expensive ways on continuing on either journey. A few friends even suggested taking Clomid [a fertility drug] without being followed by a OB. [it is cheaper this way because you dont pay for office visits and if bought from another country the medicine is super cheap] I was actually about to press "buy" on the website my girlfriend was showing me when I realized that my fricken uterus would probably explode because I was pregnant with a hundred babies if I took the drug this way. For now we feel like the only thing God has placed in front of us is to be Still. To know that He is God. To cling to Him. To TRUST HIM! Somedays this "calling" is all I need. Other days I'm like really God? Really? But that is what I love about our God- He is steadfast. No matter how up and down my emotions are He is my solid rock.
I have never been good with broken promises. Ask my mom. When I was little she wouldn't even confirm a shopping trip or playdate with me because heaven forbid she had to cancel i would have a
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness
So Lord, next time I say "that's not fair" please remind me that neither was sending your perfect and blameless Son to die for me: filthy and sinful made clean. Next time I say, "I'm running away" please beckon me back with your steadfast love.
Music is an avenue I have always used to cope with different things in my life: good or bad [blame my rockstar hubby]. Two songs have really stuck out to me lately the lyrics as well as a playlist are below.